Welcome to the Ranch! 🤠
Founded in 2025 by legendary breeder Long Dong Silver, Big Dick Ranch is the world’s premier destination for magnificently endowed livestock. No micro-dongs allowed. Only certified 🍆🍆🍆 specimens roam these 69 acres.
Our motto: “Go Big or Go Home.”
Meet Our Prize Studs 🏆
Thunder Stick
28 inches. Can knock over a fence with one swing. 🌩️
Sir Loin
Grass-fed, free-range, and fully loaded. 🥩
Moby Dick
So big, he has his own zip code. 🐋
Our Services 💼
- 🍆 Stud Services – Rent-a-Dick by the hour
- 🎓 Big Dick Bootcamp – Training for aspiring mega-studs
- 📸 Photo Shoots – Calendar coming 2026 (pre-order now!)
- 🚚 Dick Delivery – We ship nationwide (cold packs included)
Official Merch 🛍️
“I Got Raunched” Tee
100% cotton. Comes in XXL only.
World’s Biggest Mug
Holds 64 oz. Perfect for your morning protein shake.
Get In Touch 📞
Address: 69 Longhorn Lane, Hungville, TX 69696
Phone: 1-800-BIG-DICK
Email: [email protected]
Warning: Our inbox is full. Please be patient. 😏